Cold, metallic roar
by Warren Grace
The last little girl in the world reclines on her porch and basks in the sun.
She hears a sound…
Excited yet?
The seven types of Foreshadowing
(Editorial)
1. Dogmatic irony.
Example:
“Never have consensual sex with sheep.”
It can be expected that by the end of this story
somebody will have consensual sex with a
sheep—at least once and only after several dates.
2. Mentioning a thing.
Example: “There's this thing.”
This is usually mentioned on the first page.
Then naturally the thing will be used on the
last page after the lady-bounty-hunter's
sexual promiscuity is discovered by her vampire
lover: “She uses the thing—remember that
thing?—she uses it to apologize to
Eripmav.”
3. Esoteric coding.
Example:
“As the engine turned over, she yawned.”
The engine turning over should signal to the reader
that this story will turn out to be a satire of the
meat packing industry and none of the action or
characters matters.
4. Blithe song and dance numbers.
Example:
“Ray, a drop of golden sun!”
A suicide bomber runs in shouting that he's changed
his ways and he wants to work toward peaceful
solutions to the world's problems. Then his bomb
detonates. You should have seen that one coming.
5. Creating numbered lists.
Example:
“The seven types of Foreshadowing”
I just raped a lamb.